Where’s the Nipple??

I saw an ad recently for a jeweled bikini style top. (I don’t know fashion lingo so feel free to school me on it in the comments or a pm.)

jewelboobsThe top is cute. Sexy. Perfect for a water based boudoir photo shoot or some intimate personal time with a lover. Or just to stare at yourself in the mirror feeling like the Goddess that you are!

But!

One thing bugged me. Bugged the shit out of me actually! There were no nipples in the picture. And there’s no mesh or fabric or anything. It was like looking at nipple-less breasts! And in cases where there has been a mastectomy and the nipples are removed, that is one thing and not offensive or even disturbing in my mind but a form of beauty that goes deeper. No it wasn’t that. It was literally a pair of tits without the nips.  

Why are we so offended by women’s nipples in this culture? Or so titillated?? It’s just a nipple. It’s how a baby gets fed. And yes it can be a source of sexual stimulation, but let’s be honest, done right, any body part can be! A good lover can turn me on holding my hand or giving me a foot massage! So don’t tell me it’s because it’s a sexual thing. Or we wouldn’t be able to look at pictures of humans. And that’s bs anyway because companies do everything they can to sexualize ads pushing that line as hard as they can!

I’ve been with men that were turned on by stimulating their nipples and yet they can walk around topless! So why are their nipples allowed? Those worthless things can’t even feed babies! And let’s face it, they’re not a pretty as a woman’s.

It’s also important to note. Not all women have tiny perky nipples. And that’s a good thing! Some women have huge areolas that take up half their breasts. Some have super long pointy nipples. Some have nipples that face 2 different directions, or straight down. They are all beautiful and would look divine in that jeweled top and deserve to be shown in all their areola glory.

Due to our cultural weirdness about women’s nipples lots of women with their gorgeous large nipples or pokey pointy nipples, feel uncomfortable going without a bra. They feel a level of shame that their nips need covering. They’ll wear padding even when their breasts are large just to stop those offensive points from poking out from even under their underwire!

Why?? I’m seriously asking. Why are women’s nipples so shocking that even in an ad for a top that clearly allows nipples to show thru, the nipples are photoshopped out! Hidden. Disguised! It’s just as distracting and quite frankly misleading. I mean sure. We all know we won’t look like the models in most clothes advertised but this completely removes all nippliage and feels very confusing. There is this kind of underlying thing in our minds as women and maybe men too, that when we see a “model” or actress they represent the ideal. They represent for us an impression of what we are striving to be. (Which brings up a whole other can of worms from me but I’m not going there – yet). So when they completely remove something as important as a fucking nipple, that says to me that nipples are meant to be hidden and shamed out of the sight of people. 

Well you know what I say??

Show us the nipples! Especially when they fucking belong there like in a top where they would show under normal wear circumstances!!

That’s all I’m sayin.

I pledge to continue to do my part to help normalize the nipple. now that I can no longer breastfeed in public I’ll just keep going braless and not work to hide any poking that may be occurring. You’re welcome.

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PS – my wordpress seems to think that areola isn’t a word and keeps trying to correct it. The word fuck and shit seem to get by the dictionary corrections so it isn’t because it is a ‘bad word’. It must be because our eyes are too delicate to even see the word areola typed out in a blog post without being titillated or offended so they keep trying to change it to alveolar. That’s much better apparently. Then thinking about nipples!

NIPPLES!! (Sorry for yelling but it felt necessary)

What do you see?

When you look in the mirror what do you see? Can you hear your thoughts? They probably move pretty fast. Slow down and listen. Would you say that to your best friend? Your spouse? Your kids? If not, then please stop saying it to yourself!

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Now take charge a minute. What would you love to hear from someone else in your life? Maybe you wish your partner told you how beautiful you are every day? Maybe you wish someone had told you how smart you are when you were a kid instead of always focusing on how cute you looked in your Sunday dress? Maybe you wish someone in your life said thank you for all you do for them?

Say it to your reflection right now. All the things you want others to say to you. Out loud! No cheating!!

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Feel the feelings that come with hearing these words. Is it uncomfortable? Is it lovely? Does it feel so good? Does it feel odd? No judgement, just notice how your body reacts.

Great!

Now do this every morning. I mean it. Every. Single. Morning.

You are beautiful inside and out. You deserve all the amazing things the world has to offer and not because you did anything but because you are. You are worthy. Your body is perfect just the way it is, even if it isn’t the way you want it to be. Even if you are sick or tired or out of shape (whatever the fuck that means – your shape is perfect you may just wish you were stronger), your body is perfect in its NOW.

You can embrace and love yourself exactly the way you are in this moment and every moment and simultaneously strive to be a better version of yourself. But it has to start with loving yourself where you are now.

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So say it. To your face! Every day. I love you Beautiful. You are an amazing human. I am so grateful to be here. Thank you so much! And damn you’ve got a great rack!!

How Does Not Wearing a Bra = Radical Self Love??

How Does Not Wearing a Bra = Radical Self Love??

I am kind of the queen of drawing long distant barely relating conclusions. Well, actually I’m the Queen of not wearing a bra but then also of drawing a very long line from one thing to another and making them relate.

Case in point – No bra = Radical Self Love

Disclaimer! I get this a lot so I feel the need to disclaim it every time. You do not have to give up your precious bra to have this feeling! (Tho I will constantly recommend it) Some women are so attached to their bras and so offended that I’d suggest they ever even let that go. I mean, they have BIG boobs, they couldn’t possibly go braless! Never mind the fact I’m a C cup…. But I am not saying you must give it up, just asking you to explore that feeling with me a bit. So please don’t message me about your big boobs (unless it’s a picture of them under a shirt with no bra – I love it when people send me those!) Don’t message me about your issues with needing a bra. I get it.

Ok, back to my point. My very long windy line….

Let’s be honest. Even the most comfortable bra of all time isn’t that friggin comfortable. When you return home at the end of a long day or you’re getting ready for bed or the shower, you know know there’s a sigh of ahhhhhh as that sucker comes unlatched. By wearing a bra we literally choose to put ourselves in a mild state of discomfort. For what? To what ends? To impress other people? To protect them from possibly seeing a nipple poke through a shirt? *gasp* To stop someone from knowing the truth about where your boobs really sit? Or how small they really are?

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There is also a level of discomfort that comes from NOT wearing a bra -in public! At first. 😉 Trust me that goes away quickly! But when you weigh out your worries about what everyone else thinks about you vs how you feel in your body, you may decide, as I have, fuck it! This feels more comfortable!

And let’s face it. Bras make our breasts into this thing they are not. Pushing them up, or together or holding down our pokey nips or stopping them from falling into our armpits or adding a couple cup sizes! But this isn’t a truth. This isn’t how our breasts really look. Our yummy funbags are beautiful in their natural state! Even fake ones, which while they aren’t natural (and probably not safe) they are a woman’s choice and I practice radical acceptance of others as well as self. So even the surgically altered boobs deserve to be untethered! When we choose to not misrepresent our breasts to the worlds, when we choose to show up and say here they are in all their glory! We are radically accepting ourselves for the way we really are. When we roll those pancakes up into a ball and stuff them into a Victoria Secret torture device to try to represent ourselves as this, we aren’t truly loving and accepting ourselves for the way God(dess) made us.

Therefore, by taking your bra off and going out into the world you are proclaiming with all the non vocal cues you can muster “I love myself so much! I accept my body for the way it is in this moment! I do not put myself into contraptions to try to impress others! I love me the way I am!!”

Yeah, it’s a stretch. But stay with me folks. It only goes deeper from here!

I love you. And your gorgeous boobs!

Peace Love and BOOBS!

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Welcome my soul friends and family to a place where I can share my passion for all things involving the feminine body and feminine Divine energy! And boobs of course!

I began this journey of peace love and boobs when I was in my early 20s actually without even realizing what I was doing at the time was opening me up to a level of comfort with my own body that I had never experienced in my life.

I worked in the topless bar scene on and off for a few years. I started as a cocktail waitress. I remember feeling awed by the bravery the dancers had to not just get up in front of an audience and bare their bodies that way, but even more so, I was amazed how they could just sit at a table with someone, topless, and feel comfortable and at ease. And carry on a conversation!

It wasn’t long after I started that I felt pulled to the stage. I became so used to my own naked body. It felt like my uniform! It is hard to explain what being mostly naked most of the day as a job does for your sense of boundaries. For example, when my x husband and I first got together, he was appalled at how I would come out of the shower naked even when people were over. It just never occurred to me anymore to be worried or embarrassed about showing my body!

Now with that said there is a healthy level of shame that has to go on. I had gone too far the other direction and needed balance! I am no longer comfortable walking around nude in front of people. But just a shirt and no bra between them and me? Absolutely! I am good with that!

My pregnancies and subsequent breastfeeding experience opened me up even further to a different level of comfort in my own skin. When you are pregnant, it feels like your body isn’t your own. And it isn’t! It’s a vessel for someone else.

After my first child was born, suddenly my breasts were so much more than they had ever been before. They were sustaining life to a tiny human. I felt a sense of connection and bonding to all my children that I cannot describe in words. I cared for myself in a whole new way also knowing that what I did to my body went directly to theirs.

At first I was nervous to feed my baby in public. I recall their dad standing guard while I wrapped blankets around my son the first time I tried it.

By the third I barely covered anything at all!

And it was also my third pregnancy that really drew me into my braless lifestyle.

I had struggled with the breastfeeding bra thing for a long time. The hooks that pop out a little window of boobie to latch the baby on, and then cover that thing back up once it’s job was compete. They are awkward and uncomfortable. And my breasts changed size so often it was difficult to find one that fit!

I stopped trying on my third pregnancy. My breasts swelled (actually so did my uterus) immediately after getting pregnant the third time. it was like my body went “Oh yeah I remember this!” and boom plopped all my parts back out. By 8 weeks I looked a few months pregnant.

I started wearing brashelf tanks instead of actual bras. And aaaaahhhhhh! the relief! I felt so much more comfortable. Free to move and grove…. and grow. And grow I did!

I wore the brashelf tanks more often than nothing because they at least kept that feeling of security, of everything being held in place that I’d grown accustomed to after a lifetime of wearing over the shoulder boulder holders. But once that baby popped out I found them cumbersome as well.

I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my babies. So just wearing loose tank tops became my costume of choice. I would just pull down the top and feed my baby! Out in public I’d at least go from the bottom of the shirt. Or double up my tops wearing a tighter tank under my top shirt. Then I could pull up my outer shirt and down my under shirt and keep my after baby belly covered too!

I breastfed my babies a long time by our culture’s standards. I nursed my first to two and a half, nursing him through the pregnancy of my second and even tandem nursing them for a full 6 months. The second got a full 2 years, but I didn’t want to nurse through a pregnancy again so once I got pregnant with the third I weaned him.

I knew my third would be my last so I went ahead and let him nurse until he was three and half. We had gotten down to once a day by then and we could have conversations about it when it was time to stop.

I am sharing all of this with you to let you in a little bit to my passion for breasts. My love of the boobies! I see it as so much more than just an object for sexual desire. But I see it as that as well! Hell, I made money with mine for years! So I do get that side of it. But this is also our body. Our place to feel good about ourselves. And to feel comfortable.

Often women say to me Oh I can’t go braless because people will stare. Or I can’t go braless because my boobs sag. Or I can’t go braless because they will flop around.

Girl, if you don’t think my boobs sag or flop around, you are wrong! I nursed and was pregnant for about 8 years straight! My shit flops. I literally cannot run! It would give me a black eye!

But nothing feels more constricting to me then having them held down. Or pushed up. Or squeezed together. (Unless it is by a pair of hands, either my own or a loving partner.)

I tried after the end of my marriage to wear bras again. (I think I thought I’d not find love again being true to myself.) I found bralettes and thought this was the solution I’d been looking for. It is like a short tank top! But I didn’t really like wearing them often either.

I even *gasp* bought a real bra! I put it on and felt like I was being suffocated! That was the worst 10 minutes I’ve had in a long time!

I had finally gotten my body back from my children. I wasn’t about to go constricting it and tying things down. I wanted to be free! I wanted to feel light! And wearing a bra felt like putting on handcuffs to me.

I don’t expect all women to relate to this. But I will be inviting you to try it for one day a week. You also cannot deny that the feeling of taking your bra off is so freeing at the end of the day!

I also recognize not all women have had my life experiences. Not everyone has had the joy of a naked job or breastfeeding their babies. There is no judgement here. You don’t have to have done those things to get to the zone of freedom. You also don’t have to stop wearing a bra all together to get there! Or even at all. Just becoming aware of why you do it. Making it a conscious choice, is enough to change your life.

And if you are suffering with abuse issues and feelings of deep seeded shame of your body, please take this slow. There will be practices coming soon to help open you up to finding the self love that was robbed of you in early life.

If the idea of not wearing a bra disgusts you or scares you, explore that! Why? What are you afraid of? If it feels uncomfortable, I ask you is it really uncomfortable to not wear a bra or have you just gotten so used to the discomfort of wearing one, it is unfamiliar?

These are the questions and topics we will be exploring here. I hope to inspire women to embrace their beautiful and amazing bodies for just the way they are. And to of course cast off those damn bras! At least sometimes.

Thank you for joining me here.